I’ve had some interestingly random connections between things lately. I don’t know. I suppose I’m fairly random on a regular basis, but still. It’s annoying at times.

I was thinking about how I’m glad my birth control finally started doing what it was supposed to: regulating my periods. Every month they get a little less intense. Every month they freak me out less. I hurt less. I cry less.

There is something profoundly ironic to me that the thing I take to prevent myself from getting pregnant has this habit of reminding me over and over of miscarriages. I hate it. It needs to calm down because I can’t stand how I feel. The pain (which I never had before), the over-emotional bullshit (which I also never had before), etc. It’s all a little too much sometimes. And I feel as if I am constantly forcing my temporary non-Nina-ness on people.

I might need a lower dosage, but I don’t know. I’ll talk to a doctor about it soon though.

Despite the random and the crazy though, life has been good. Today was beautiful and I was glad to get a little time outside. The sky was amazing as I left work. My camera-taken picture does not do it justice.

The woman upstairs does the front steps and vacuums the halls. No one is particularly noisy and we are almost at full capacity. I like my building, even if my apartment is barely larger than my room at my mom’s.

I love it.

Best of all? I was able to keep my dog. The idea of not coming home to Zena made me pretty upset, but I was lucky enough to find a landlord cool with pets.

It’s been good. I like it, and I’m glad that everything happened the way it did.

Life has been going well lately and I hope it stays that way for a while.

There are trees down all over. I have heard from a lot of people that there have been instances of power outages all over. I am thankful and lucky to have managed to be on time for work somehow. I took care of Zena and whatnot and wasn’t rushing. It’s going to be an interesting day.

In other news, my back hurts and I need to call to make an appointment with the doctor my primary physician referred me to. Hopefully someone can figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

Awesome.

On the upside, at least it’s not freezing. I’m currently waiting for the bus to come to take me off to retail land. I need to be there in ten minutes and it’s a five minute ride easily.

I’m randomly angry today. Makes no sense and I can’t really figure out why. But I just need to slog through.

There is a new apartment, newly developing romance, and the continuance of two jobs to contend with on a regular basis. Some stresses have diminished and I couldn’t be happier.

There was video games and tv-watching at Alex’s earlier, not to mention some time spent clearing his apartment of smoke. Thank god for cheap huge turkey because we couldn’t eat the fish fillet things that blackened in the oven and had to fill up somehow.

The smoke, on the upside, did interesting things to his projector.

I don’t say this often enough, but today was a good day.

I should be happy. But today I feel like everything is kind of a lie. I don’t know. Stress has been getting to me and I dont trust anyone. Awesome. My skin is a mess and I feel disgusting. Fun!

I should be happy. A boy has put up with me for a month. Work isn’t bad. Home is so-so. But things aren’t bad. And I want to go hide from life. Awesome.

I cooked last night. That was good. Sausage and peppers. Huzzah.

I didn’t learn until later that the gas station I passed on the way to mcdonalds had been held up, hence the cop cars and whatnot. Whoops.

Got back to my office and enjoyed my food though, which was good. And now I am sluggish and warm and tired. Awesome.

Do you remember,
Not the fifth of November,
But when you could fix a problem
By running away from home?
At least, we thought we could.
Some crackers and a teddy bear stuffed in a bag
It was all we needed
Our mom would worry;
Sure, we’d be spanked for it later
But we knew she gave a damn.

And now
We are the only ones who need to convince us that we actually care
As we forget ourselves over and over again.

I’ll just hide in my room since an adult who runs away from home is simply on vacation

And I’m too poor for that.

But whatever. Hopefully having a good weekend coming up. Going to Derek’s cabin and will hopefully not be eaten by a bear. But who knows.

Went out last night with some friends to Alive at Five. It’s weird to go see a band play under the highway. Loud and crowded too. Fun though.

At least it’s nice out. Thank god for beautiful clouds and decent cell phone cameras.